/cuckquean/
- "I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as lesbianism is, in fact, cuckquean/lesbianism, or as I've recently taken to calling it, cuckquean plus lesbianism..."
- — OxfordComma, commentating /cuckquean/'s victory over /yuri/
- — OxfordComma, commentating /cuckquean/'s victory over /yuri/
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/cuckquean/ prefers to watch but when they get in on the action they clean up the competition.
This small, slow, specialist fetish board exploded into the 2020 Cup with a ferocity they usually reserve for vixen hunting and voyeurism.
New horizons, new harems! Are you ready? We want you to play.
History
Road to 2020
/cuckquean/ prepared to make its debut in the 6th Infinity Cup by assembling a team of expert 'queans and sultry vixens kitted out in its distinctively horny iconography. The team undertook many "tryouts", "strategy meetings", "training sessions" and other heavily double-quoted euphemisms to mold itself into a hot, sticky, well-lubricated, perfectly-hydrated mess.
If we're being completely honest, though, a lot of the time that should have been spent training ended up going towards the team motto's Latin grammar.
Infinity Cup 6
Group Stage
/cuckquean/ got off to a rocky start in the Group Stage's C Group, where they were soundly humbled 3-1 by /monster/ in an opening match dubbed the Bicorn Derby.
Their subsequent match with /latecomfy/ did not go well, in spite of an early goal earned by deft teamwork between /cuckquean/'s catgirl maid, Catgirl Maid, and nightly plaything, Tonight's Plaything. /latecomfy/'s strong possession game and accurate shooting would have earned them a certain win were it not for /cuckquean/'s stalwart keeper, COCK OR GTFO. The stalemate seemed to be heading for a frustrating 1-1 tie... but in the match's agonising final seconds, a desperate shot bounced off /latecomfy/'s keeper, Sweet Dreams, and counted as an own goal. The moment earned /cuckquean/ victory, and /latecomfy/'s keeper the Golden Screw of the Sixth Infinity Cup.
Galled by their failure to stop /latecomfy/'s forwards, /cuckquean/'s defenders mobilised and successfully forced /co/ into a 1-1 tie, narrowly earning Third Place in Group C.
But the trouble was not yet over for /cuckquean/'s ragtag bundle of fetish jokes, obscure historical references, and multimedia characters. They had placed third in their Group Stage, and only two third-place teams would be admitted to the Knockout Round. /fascist/ took the first slot, and /cuckquean/ were right behind them... but there was one small snag: /v/'s performance was identical to theirs in every way.
The riggers declared a Third Place Tiebreaker. If /cuckquean/ wanted to climb back onto the path to victory, they'd have to jump from /v/'s defeated back.
Qualifying Tiebreaker
/cuckquean/ hadn't shown stellar performance in the Group Stage. Their possession game was weak, their defences unreliable, and their strikers off-target. How would they beat a video-game board in a video-game? But as soon as the whistle blew, all watching sensed that something might have changed. The first goal of the match was scored by a /cuckquean/ midfielder - what? But as the match ground on and /v/ managed to slip a goal through /cuckquean/'s grim defence before the half-time whistle, it seemed as though the two tied teams were matched only in their mediocrity.
Cuckquean-tan had been holding back, playing her traditional role as Second Striker to Tonight's Plaything, but in the second half of the match she drove towards the goal as though it were a fresh creampie waiting to be lapped. Once, twice, three times she ripped through /v/'s defences, and the rest of her team rallied behind her: /v/'s ferocious counter-attacks were pushed back so hard that Bicorn was written up in the final minute.
1-4 to /cuckquean/. They'd come from behind... just the way they liked it.
Knockout Round
To Be Researched: This section of the page is incomplete. Please help by adding to it.
Roster
Main Article: /cuckquean/ Roster.
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Roster Stats
| Player | Matches Played | Career Goals | Career Assists | Man of the Match |
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| Star Butterfly | 7 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Emma Jung | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Toni Wolff | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Mero | 7 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Bicorn | 7 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Better Tits | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Firmer Ass | 7 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Catgirl Maid | 7 | 1 | 4 | 0 |
| Cuckquean-tan | 7 | 6 | 2 | 3 |
| Tonight's Plaything | 7 | 5 | 3 | 1 |
| Kanna Tanigawa | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Mary Hutchinson | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Maria Huxley | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Eto Fujiko | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Momo Deviluke | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| Tighter Pussy | 7 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| My Sister | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| My Best Friend | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Goalkeeper stats
| Keeper | Matches Played | Goals Conceded | Keeper Coefficient | Total Saves |
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| COCK OR GTFO | 6 | 11 | 1.83 | 19 |
| NOT CUCKQUEANING | 1 | 1 | 1.00 | 2 |
Match history
Note: Results list /cuckquean/'s goals first
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
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| August 8, 2020 |  /monster/
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Infinity Cup 6 Group C | 1-3 L |  83' Tonight's Plaything
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| August 15, 2020 |  /latecomfy/
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Infinity Cup 6 Group C | 2-1 W | 20' Tonight's Plaything 90+1' (o.g.) Sweet Dreams
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| August 22, 2020 |  /co/
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Infinity Cup 6 Group C | 1-1 D | 37' Tonight's Plaything
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| August 23, 2020 |  /v/
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Infinity Cup 6 Tiebreaker Game | 4-1 W | 3' Firmer Ass 63', 70', 90+3' Cuckquean-tan
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| August 29, 2020 |  /ausneets/
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Infinity Cup 6 Knockout Stage | 3-2 W | 53', 86' Cuckquean-tan 90+1' My Sister
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| August 30, 2020 |  /yuri/
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Infinity Cup 6 Knockout Stage | 3-1 W | 15', 77', 90+5' Cuckquean-tan
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| August 30, 2020 |  /bane/
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Infinity Cup 6 Knockout Stage | 1-3 L | 61' Tonight's Plaything
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| August 30, 2020 | /monster/
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Infinity Cup 6 Third Place Game | 3-1 W | 88' Catgirl Maid 94' Tonight's Plaything 105+1' Cuckquean-tan
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| August 21, 2022 |  /islam/
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Infinity Cup 7 Group H | 2-1 W | 6' Cuckquean-tan 12' Tonight's Plaything
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| August 28, 2022 | /latecomfy/
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Infinity Cup 7 Group H | 2-2 D | 16' Cuckquean-tan 31' Catgirl Maid
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| September 4, 2022 |  /leftypol/
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Infinity Cup 7 Group H | 1-1 D | 62' Tonight's Plaything
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| September 10, 2022 | /v/
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Infinity Cup 7 Knockout Stage | 6-3 W | 16', 60' Tonight's Plaything 63'Catgirl Maid 68' (o.g.) Yoshimitsu 80', 90+2' Cuckquean-tan |
| September 11, 2022 |  /eris/
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Infinity Cup 7 Knockout Stage | 1-3 L | 23' Better Tits
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